Why Suicide Squad’s Joker is bad

First and foremost, let's get one thing straight: There's no "one" Joker. The Joker is a character who has had somewhere between three and five backstories, been rendered in comic, TV show, and movie, by upwards of five different actors and voice actors, who have all portrayed their own version of 'The Joker'. Some have been [...]

Advertisements

Bite-Sized Critic: Pokemon Go is Terrible

The gameplay, while layered, comes down to a mixture of walking around, a single swipe motion, and an arythmic tapping game The graphics are poor, even for a mobile game. Even for a Pokemon game, especially one that needs only model the original 150 Most of the system is purely RNG-based, with no guarantee of [...]

Zero Time Dilemma: Quotes Part 2

More things I've said while playing the game: “Ah yes, the golden rule of the Zero Escape series: The protagonist can never actually win, even when they’re being handed the prize on a silver platter.” “This is great! All we need to do is pick a timeline where we’re already dead! It’s so obvious!” “Oh, [...]

Zero Time Dilemma: Quotes Part 1

Things I've said while playing the game: “20 bucks says Mira’s wrong [3 seconds later] Called it.” “I wish there was a ‘don’t answer’ option.” “Oh my god, that’s the first ending. Fucking priceless.” “How much time will it take before Phi suggests betraying people? [1 minute later] That didn’t take long.” “Diana looks too [...]

Bite Size Critic: Playing Zero Time Dilemma

Choose-your-own-adventure game from Spike Chunsoft (Danganronpa, other stuff), 3rd game in the Zero Escape franchise after 999 and Zero's Escape: Virtue's Last Reward. Only ever played the second, so I know some stuff going in. Time travel, multiple timelines, memory travel, life-or-death puzzles, all that jazz. Game got rid of the heavy text-reading, now just [...]

Bite Sized Critic: Playing Mirror’s Edge Catalyst

Only about an hour into the game. Hate every new character I've met, and with every marker added to the open world map, I know I'm gonna be pissed just getting to places to do missions/time trials/random shit. Combat's somehow worse than the first. Didn't think that was possible. On the plus side, parkour still [...]

Overwatch Heroes Balance Overview

This post was made close to Overwatch's launch. Many aspects no longer apply. For this post, we'll be looking through each and every hero in Overwatch. All of the following are my own personal opinions, and are subject to change. Let's just go through alphabetically. For each character, a list of potential fixes for their kit [...]

Bite Sized Critic: Overwatch’s Play of the Game

A clip showing the most points garnered by any character in a 5-second period in the match. A good way to celebrate awesome plays, but geared more towards offensive multi-kills and AOE ults, even though shielding/healing/objective grabbing count for points. That's somewhat okay, nobody wants to watch a 5-second clip of Mercy just... healing shit real well. [...]

Bite Sized Critic: Overwatch Maps

Currently, there’s only three types of maps: Capture/Defend two consecutive points, King of the Hill on a single target location, and Escort/Stop the ridiculously slow-moving vehicle. All are randomly used for the one online matchmaking playlist. Each team on each map only has one spawn point, so when the objective’s on the other side of [...]

Heavenly Sword and Enslaved

8/10. Action game. Great graphics, good soundtrack, decent mechanics. In this game, a red-haired woman and her less intelligent animal-themed friend travel across a beautiful nature-infused land in a personally-fueled quest to defeat an evil mastermind, played by Andy Serkis. The story works, but the game is a little short for characterization, and the hallucination [...]